new year, new calendar
The Thoughts
‘Tis the season for new goals and self-improvement, they all say! While I can see the benefits of “New Year, new me” I also lean towards the “New Year, same me… but I’ve dusted off some cobwebs and put in a new display window to let parts of myself shine anew!” perspective. In sitting with people, there is often a through line that they feel broken or unworthy - as if who they are is not suitable in some way, shape or form. So rather than say, “Yep, time to change everything about you!” it feels more healing to speak to the inherently good and lovely parts of who a person is (and has probably always been, even if it has been protected for many, many years). As people “dust off” and rediscover their strengths or grow new skills, I hope people can stay centered on finding themselves in the process versus focusing on what others may be expecting.
In the above video clip from The Office, Creed’s goal is to do “Just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel”. Make your resolutions about you! : )
Now that that soapbox has been orated upon, I’ll get more to the point of this post: introducing some thoughts on planning as a precursor to my next post with some resources. For a handful of years, I worked as a community therapist, which sometimes meant supporting people when they went to various appointments. At one such appointment, I was sitting in with a Clinical Neuropsychologist who explained how, whether we are in rest mode, retired or spontaneous as they come, some form of structure is a key component to helping our brains function. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go from the fly-by-the-seat-of-your pants weekend plans to a rigid, hour-by-hour schedule, but rather work to consider how your days can have a typical flow. In working with people, I have found that starting with a goal to learn where you may need more structure and where/how you can be more flexible in order to decrease overall distress (even if it is just small moments or parts of the day) is an easy in-road for working towards change and/or structure. For many, this usually requires figuring out what type of planning tool will work best for you!
As always, there are larger systems at play in many of our lives that may make this post feel like a fantasy. And it is a privileged perspective to be able to sit and think about your day and your options versus the myriad demands that come with life. If you’re feeling this and still want some ideas for change, consider this corny and cliche yet true perspective: One small change can be a start (i.e. I’m going to start waking up/getting into bed between x and x time - no other expectations and give yourself a range so it feels realistic and mostly undemanding after a long day of being everything for everyone else). Additionally, you may already have everything planned out, but does switching it up to something more visually pleasing help decrease some of the monotony or help you revisit an overloaded schedule to try and work out any kinks? Stay tuned for my next post (typically 1-2 days) with links to resources!
Stay Cozy Out There!
E
